As I write, I have been recovering from an illness and had a week away from work with a lot of idle time. Most of this time I wasn’t feeling well enough to focus on anything productive but I am feeling much better now though I am not as lucid as I would like to be. This is only a short post but one I want to write so I can re-focus my efforts beginning in May.
Just a few months ago I set myself some new goals for this year which I am already failing. One in particular is one I need to be particularly careful with. I have noticed over the last few years I’ve gotten weaker with keeping to these promises. While I am well aware that making a hash of new year’s resolutions is a running joke, I tend to take them more seriously. The two I have failed thus far are the least important and the most important.
The most important is my promise to abstain from alcohol. I let this go at a wedding I recently attended and then again over the last few days. The least important was my promise about buying new books as I have already broken this and bought a few this year. In both cases, what is interesting is the way I rationalised these things to myself. I continue to wonder at the human ability for rationalisation no matter how explicit a command, rule or law. In reality, what I have done is not lived up to promises I set myself and if I can’t keep to small things, I wonder how I will keep to big things.
As I am quite opinionative on this blog, I want to use this post to remind myself and any who read that I am a sinner and as prone to moral weakness as anyone. I don’t intend to just give up though as trying to live up to these promises has at least meant I’ve done both less. This is more to remind myself and to re-commit to sticking to these promises for the remainder of the year.